If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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