He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
