69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
