Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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