It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
