the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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