My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize