My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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