it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize