I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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