Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
