Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
