I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize