You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
