thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
