I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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