Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
