He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
