Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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