I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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