You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
