Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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