I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
