Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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