so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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