I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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