theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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