We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
