If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize