So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
