we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
