we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
