Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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