what day is it and did you see me today?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
