I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
