I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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