you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
