Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize