I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
