There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I FOUND THE LEGS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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