Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
