We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
