He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize