It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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