You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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