I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
