nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
