Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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