last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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