oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
