it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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