I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
