I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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