a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
