they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My dick has a subreddit
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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