so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
