I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
