yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
