Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
