But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
