I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
