Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
