It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize