In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't deserve a penis
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
