I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
